1. Climbing a giant set of stairs when you’re on a date.
Date: Are you OK? You seem like you’re out of breath.
Me: Naw. I’m… just… enjoying the air… Can we sit?
2. Going out jogging with another person.
Friend: You’re so quiet today.
Me: I’M TOO BUSY TRYING TO BREEEEATHE!
3. When someone says, “Hey! It’s only 30 blocks away. Let’s walk.”
Why the hell do we have cars, then?
4. Middle school P.E.
THE ABSOLUTE WORST.
5. When you’re jogging at the gym next to someone who’s at their physical peak.
Their meter: YOUR’E AN ATHLETE!
Your meter: Uhhh… just keep going… don’t stop.
6. Going up to the weight scale after two weeks of working out and realizing you have not lost a single pound.
7. Putting on an outfit that used to fit and realizing it’s just too damn tight.
If I tuck in my stomach, it fits PERFECTLY!
8. Playing tag with your kids and/or nephews.
You keep at it. I’m just gonna sit here and observe.
9. Getting winded after five minutes of ~sexy time~.
“WHAT? FIVE MINUTES?! IT DEFINITELY FELT LIKE 30! YOUR CLOCK MUST BE OFF!”
10. When you open the door at the wrong time and the family dog runs out.
Your dog will always be in better shape than you.
11. When someone challenges you and your friends to a soccer scrimmage.
“Sorry… I can’t… I have this thing in my… knee.”
12. Finding a beautiful apartment for a great price… on the 8th floor of a building without an elevator.
“What if I just sleep on the stairs.”
13. When you find yourself sweating while eating a big meal.
“I think I’ve hit rock bottom.”
14. When you’re shopping in a big mall and the ESCALATORS DON’T WORK.
“Wait… I have to CLIMB STAIRS? What is happening?”
15. When you can hear yourself wheezing when you breathe.
What’s that noise?….
16. When everything, even inanimate objects, are telling you to get back in shape.
17. When you look down to look at your ~wild thang~ and all you see is gut.
“WHERE IS IT?!”
18. When you can feel a double chin is starting to creep up on you.
“Maybe if I jut my chin out it’ll go away?”
At the end of the day, we strive to keep ourselves happy and healthy.
But the struggle is very much real.